Things I'll Never Say
by Blue-mage865
Summary: Kaylee thinks about Simon, Simon thinks about Kaylee although neither are willing to admit it. One shot, song fic, Simon x Kaylee.


Chapter 1: I'll Never Tell

_I'm tucking up my hair_

_I'm pulling out my clothes_

Another glorious morning dawned on Serenity as Kaylee lazily rolled out of her hammock. It was hard to differentiate between day and night when you're drifting out in the middle of space, but Kaylee pretty much had a biological clock set inside of her to wake up at the same time every day.

She had slept in the engine room that night to make sure nothing happened to it, considering that about one week before the captain had almost died trying to fix it.

Finally with a long sigh and a big stretch she began trudging back to her room to grab a fresh pair of clothes. When she reached the kitchen she noticed Mal had already arisen and was making food of some sort, and Simon was casually lounging in a nearby chair.

"Morning Kaylee, any problems with the engine last night?" Mal inquired in a chipper voice.

"Nope, everything's fine." She replied, slowly staring to perk up, "Mornin' Simon." She continued and kept walking to the other doorway.

"Good morning Kaylee." He replied with a slight smile.

Even though she may have just woken up, her hair was all knotted, and clothes wrinkled he still couldn't help but think she was the most beautiful thing on the ship.

As soon as Kaylee reached her room she opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of camo green cargo pants and a pink sleeveless shirt, slipped them on and began brushing out her matted hair.

_I'm trying to keep my cool_

_I know it shows_

She finished brushing her hair, halfly pinned it up then hunched over the mirror, looked at her reflection and sighed.

"God I must have turned sixty different shades of red back there, I wonder if he noticed." Kaylee thought to herself. "Oh he probably did, I am so bad at keeping a level-head when it comes to boys."

Suddenly fraught with worry over nothing she could change she went over to her bed, sat down and started swinging her feet nervously over the edge.

_I'm staring at my feet_

_My cheeks are turning red_

_I'm searching for the words, inside my head_

"Still…if he did see it at least he noticed me." She thought, feeling herself turn deep red again.

With a long sigh she flopped backwards and started wondering, yet again, if Simon knew how she really felt. She did this sometimes when she was alone, she started formulating clever plans of how to tell him and when that got dull she would come up with the most absurd and improbable fantasies that she knew would never happen.

_Cause I'm feeling nervous trying to be so perfect_

_Cause I know you're worth it _

_You're worth it yeah_

"I know I might not be the smartest one on this ship or the prettiest but I at least try to think before I speak to him." She thought, "But I believe he's a good person and I guess it's worth it."

_If I can say what I wanna say_

_I'd say I wanna blow you away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight?_

_If I can say what I wanna see_

_I wanna see you go down on one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess I'm wishing my life away_

_  
_"If only I could speak my mind! But of course some of those things are too vulgar." She thought, then suddenly sprang up from her bed and pretended like she was talking to Simon.

"Simon Tam I love you, and I have ever since I first met you, and I don't give a damn who knows it!" She stood in silence for a moment, then, "What? Why Simon this is such a big surprise! Of course I'll marry you!"

Then as if continuing to act out her fantasies, "Oh you flatter me too much; it's plain to see I'm not the most beautiful girl in the room." And, "You know what? Your right! I'm just wasting my life away on this ship being its mechanic; of course I'll go back to your home and live with you!"

Then suddenly stopping what she was doing and sitting back on her bed, "Right like that'll ever happen."

_These things I'll never say_

Meanwhile Simon had retired to his room after eating realizing he had nothing important to discuss with the captain. Besides there were other things he had to worry about such as River…but of course he was always thinking about her well-being. Although ever since Ariel she had been getting a lot better, minus some side effects, which reminded him that later he needed to scrub out that throw-up stain on his sheets.

Suddenly his thoughts turned to Kaylee and his heart began to race and felt as if it would leap out of his throat, this happened almost every time his thoughts strayed to her.

_It don't do me any good_

_It's just a waste of time,_

_What use is it to you?_

_What's on my mind?_

"It doesn't do me any good to keep thinking about her, I mean I don't even know if she likes me. I should be thinking about other stuff not frivolous thoughts about some girl who'll probably never like me. It's of no use to her anyways, love can't make a ship run, and thoughts of it certainly can't" He thought to himself, nervously pacing the length of the room over and over again.

_If it ain't comin' out_

_We're not goin' anywhere_

"But if I never tell her, then things will just…stay the way they are, nothing will ever change between us. I don't know how much longer I could go on living like that; it might interfere with my work." He thought, starting to panic.

"Like what if one day someone gets shot through the heart and I only have a few minutes to save them but all I can think about is Kaylee?..." Then his heart started pounding faster at the next notion, "What if it _is_ Kaylee?!"

_So why can't I just tell you_

_That I care?_

"I would never be able to forgive myself if she died and I didn't tell her how I felt…and Mal would probably kill me." He thought, starting to calm down a bit.

"Why am I such a coward? I can't even tell her how I feel about her…I wonder how the rest of the crew would take it." He said, and then buried his face in his hands in frustration.

_What's wrong with my tongue?_

_These words keep slippin' away_

"Well it certainly felt good to get that out of my system." Kaylee said to herself, "It's like every time I see him the words just turn to mush in my brain and I can't remember what I was about to say. You know what?" She said, suddenly springing to her feet, "I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna tell him how I feel about him because I'm sick and tired of worrying about it."

And with that she climbed out of her room and started waltzing toward Simon's room.

_I stutter I stutter more_

_Like I've got nothin' to say_

"You know what? I've just got to keep a level head about this." Simon said to himself, "Yeah that's it I'll just control the way I feel…no that'll probably make it worse I'll probably get all jittery and awkward. Well I guess there's only one way to solve this…I've got to tell her, it's the only sensible option I have." He said, rising from the chair he had flopped down in.

He marched over to the door and flung it open, and in the doorway he was surprised to see Kaylee looking like she was about to knock and just as surprised as him.

"Oh hi Simon, I'm sorry are you going somewhere? Cause I could just—"But she didn't get to finish before he interrupted her.

"No, no actually I was coming to see you."

_These things I'll never say_

"Oh well yeah, I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to umm…" She said, looking down a bit and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, "Spend the afternoon together because you know there's nothing else going on and I was gettin' kinda bored just sittin' 'round—"

But once again she was interrupted. "Yeah I was actually going to ask you the same thing…umm…so feel free to come in." He said, stepping aside.

"Thanks." She replied with a bright smile and brushed past him.

Simon closed and door behind her, "One day…" He thought, "But for now…it couldn't be more perfect." With that he let out a heavy sigh and walked over to where she had seated herself.

_These things I'll never say_

End I'll Never Tell

_Alright! My first Firefly fic is complete and I am so proud of it. I've been meaning to type this up forever…but you know how senior year goes…or maybe you don't. Anyways, I love Firefly, this fic, and most of all Simon and Kaylee! I've got a Mal x Inara one planned as well so be on the look-out!!_

_Blue-mage865_


End file.
